Can't seem to get over that crush?

Us girls or us people in general (wouldn't want to generalize this) have all experienced that one crush we can't seem to get over. They're like that one memory that seems to come back at the worst times when you think you've finally gotten over them. Or perhaps like wearing a cold shirt on a cold day and feeling the coldness pierce against your flesh. How exactly, then, can you get over such a person? Hi, this is AFYO (Advice For Young Ones) and I've curated a list of tips that have helped me get over that particular person, or learned to control my feelings. I've had a constant crush on the same person for 6 consecutive years now but you can always take what resonates with you.

Journal

Journaling is one of the simplest things you can do to clear your soul and your mind, it's recommended by the greatest self-love influencers. Journaling helps you to channel your emotions, find out where they're coming from so you can find a way to deal with them. If you're new to journaling, then don't expect to catch the punch on your first lesson, unless, that is, if you're a natural writer. Give yourself time to allow the feelings to flow, hold that pen for as long as you need to until you find the right words to write down. If you can't think of anything at all to write, then I suggest finding journaling prompts to use as guidelines. There are plenty of those on Pinterest, you just have to search for the right prompts for the situation you're facing. Make sure to find a notebook that'll motivate you to pick it up whenever you feel like, no one would want to pick up a book that looks like something you would find in a school dustbin. Invest in a pretty journal and pretty pens, trust me, it'll make the process SO much easier on you.

Pray

Did you really think something this big is a topic you'll be able to handle alone? Your brain can only do so much for you, you can only put in as much human effort as you can. When you feel weak, when you feel hopeless then turn to the creator. Talk about your problems to God, explain to him what you're feeling and why you're feeling this way. Ask for guidance, ask for answers and you'll surely receive them. For someone like me who has all the write words but can't seem to speak them when the time comes, you can always write him letters! I have a whole journal dedicated to talking to God about my day, thanking him for the life I'm living or letting in on the scope of the issues I'm currently facing. I feel like this way I'm always communicating with him even if it's not at night right before I close my eyes to sleep. People around you aren't always going to have the answers, or maybe they'll tell you things like, "Just get over them" "Girl, they're not worth your time and energy" or "don't let them define your worth" which are all very true but it doesn't really help you overcome the feelings, does it? When in doubt, turn to the provider. 

Invest in a Hobby/Keep yourself busy

The most likely reason why you keep thinking of them is because you have too much free time on your hands, or more to say, on your mind. Take the time to invest in a hobby, it's 2024 there are many free resources on your desired hobby. Although for motion hobbies such as dance, I would suggest doing it in person with an instructor, it'll be easier that way. Hobbies, similar to journaling (which is still a hobby by the way), is a great way to distress and/or express yourselves through your artwork. I've compiled a list of hobbies in case you may be stuck:

Crochet

Knitting

Dance (Ballet, hip-hop, tap, jazz, salsa, contemporary)

Photography

Journaling

Cooking

Baking

Tutoring

Blogging

Small businesses (Lip gloss, perfume, bracelets, slime, squish toys)

Learn a new language

Puzzles

Pottery

Ice Skating

Roller blading

Art (drawing, painting)

Of course these are not all the hobbies in the world and it's really up to you to choose which hobby is the right fit for you. Keeping yourself busy leaves no room for unnecessary external thoughts, which is one of the reasons why I drown myself in music. It may sound a little toxic and not a reliable way to drown the feelings but trust me, it WORKS. For a whole 6 months I had completely forgotten about him when I started stanning BTS, trying to keep up with 9 years of content left no room in my mind to think of him and I was happy. It was only when the excitement faded out that my mind now had room for unnecessary things and that's when the thoughts came hurling back. So if it takes you having to find a new artist to obsess over, do it, you'll thank me later. 

Toxic is the way out

Hear me out on this one, I'm not saying you should approach him and smash his car or insult all his friends, but if all else fails, this is what I personally do. I imagine the person in a relationship, in fact imagine being their ex, fire up that hatred that you would have for your ex and project it towards them. 

Disclaimer!: If they haven't ever done negative towards you, NEVER project this hatred directly towards them. This one may be a bit controversial, but if it's someone you'll never have a chance with then pretend they've really hurt you and avoid anything related to them. Like how you would do with your ex. Call them ugly (internally!!! never out loud), dodge their presence, label him a red flag if you have to, do it for as long as you need to in order to get over them. 

Conclusion

Before I end this blog, I want to take the time to mention that none of these tips will work if you do not stop and take the time to acknowledge these feelings. It's okay to admit that you like him/her, it's okay to fantasize about you guys being together with your Pinterest boards. You will never understand yourself if you don't know yourself, ask yourself what it is about them you like so much. Is it really the personality or the way they smile? Is it how they treat others kindly or the fact that they're cute and just so happened to look in your direction? Acknowledge these feelings Babes, it's not a crime to have them. What is a crime is letting them eat you away slowly, you deserve much better, if they aren't giving you that then come tell me, we support each other. There are billions of people are there, don't get caught up on the fact that you'll meet your soulmate in high school, but then again I do know married people who were high school sweethearts. Maybe they'll end up noticing your awesomeness, maybe they won't; regardless, keep that head up high because you will find someone who will sweep you off your feet.

*All credits go to Pinterest for the pictures*